I’ve been crazy-busy. Getting a book out is no easy task. I find myself wishing that book publishing was more like the fantasy that existed in my head long before I wound up knee-deep in the quagmire that is writing. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? I had these dreams of working in my jammies (which I do, most days), typing away on my computer with a nice cup of tea and a snack (again, most days), and mailing off my manuscript to some wonderful group of elves who do all the other stuff for me.
My fantasy gets derailed somewhere past the snack.
There are no elves, folks. Just little, old me–emphasis on the old part lately.
Once the book is written there’s the dreaded waiting for edits. Then there’s the even more dreaded waiting for the second round of edits. This is WEEKS long. WEEKS. This workaholic, type A is not accustomed to this waiting. I want things done NOW NOW NOW. I’m worse than a three-year-old on Christmas Eve. The waiting is more than I can stand.
The next step isn’t terrible, but tedious. I have to go through the edits and actually correct all my boo-boos. If only things sprang from my head fully formed and perfect….
The next step is waiting–oh the waiting–for the proof copies to arrive so I can see if there are any mistakes made via the printing. There almost always are. So the book goes back to be corrected and more proof copies are sent to be checked. Hopefully, my anal retentive tendencies haven’t left any stones unturned and I can now sit back and….WAIT…for publishing day.
During these dreaded spans of waiting, I get to do all the marketing tasks like finding places for author events and creating flyers and business cards and memes and a million other things to try to get eyeballs on my work. Without eyeballs on my work I am doing nothing more than screaming into a room full of screaming people. Who is hearing me? Anyone? Bueller?
I spend countless hours trying to teach my brain that went to school in the Before Computers Age of Education how to use complicated programs that make beautiful flyers and such. I know just enough about computing devices to get myself into trouble. And by trouble I mean download a nasty virus that causes my husband to swear up a storm and wonder why he ever lets me near things that require fancy, newfangled technology like electricity. (Laugh, but while I spent all day today making a flyer…and I do mean ALL DAY…he spent the better part of the afternoon unclogging the kitchen drain. Dingbat Miranda managed to pack it full to the gills with a million pounds of spaghetti noodles that burned my hand yesterday. They flopped down the drain quicker than I could save them, and our precious ears, from the swear words that greased the pasta’s way down the tubes.)
So, yeah, busy is my middle name these days. Raising two teenage boys and writing books. I love writing, don’t get me wrong. I’d sooner hack my arm off than quit. However, I need to somehow get better at this voodoo that I do. Better enough to afford elves. I definitely need elves, because this Plus Size Mama is ready for a vacation and publication day is just over a month away!
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